Vaughan & Chiang's "Paper Girls" Builds a Familiar Yet Disconcerting World
Yesterday’s release of Predators reaffirmed one fact about classic horror movies: If you want to make a successful sequel, you have to up the ante – literally. Here are some other sequels that moviemakers may want to consider.
The first thing that came to mind when Predators was first announced wasn’t actually anything to do with producer Robert Rodriguez or director Nimrod Antal; it was Aliens, the first film where the producers apparently thought “Well, instead of one monster, why don’t we have lots of monsters?” And why not? As a formula, it works – After seeing how much trouble a single alien/predator/whatever can cause in the first movie, what fan wouldn’t want to see more of the same – only moreso? Bearing that in mind, may we suggest the following movies:
The shapechanging alien(?) from John Carpenter’s arctic horror may have remained an unknowable, mysterious terror in the first movie, but what happens when the second movie sees an experimental spacecraft (Crewed by a suitably multi-cultural crew, of course, including a ridiculously glamorous female scientist who likes to expose her cleavage) crashland on a planet full of them? I’ll give you a clue: Box Office Gold.
An experimental teleportation accident turned Jeff Goldblum into a freaky bugman in the 1980s David Cronenberg classic remake, but picture a world twenty-five years later, when all the kinks have been worked out and teleportation is an everyday occurrence all across the world… until a freak accident turns half of the human population into mutated hybrid monsters. Bring Goldblum back to play his own distant relative, the only man who can save the day and revert everyone back to their original form and you’ve got Jurassic Park only with more things falling off people’s bodies.
Bruce Willis and crew may have saved the world from one killer asteroid… But what happens when there’re ten coming our way? Science gets entirely bastardized in this non-stop thriller that could (a) reignite Willis’ career, (b) reignite Aerosmith’s, as well, if they can churn out a power ballad strong enough to earn their place on the end titles. As a plus, imagine an asteroid movie in 3D: It’s like it’s coming right at you! Get James Cameron involved, and it’ll be the biggest movie ever made in the history of cinema.
The original movie was little more than a rip-off of Alien and The Thing, only underwater, so why should its sequel be any more creative? More people underwater run into more watery beasties. Put it straight onto DVD, or Syfy on a Satuday night, and you have yourself some kind of winner. Although the definition of “winning” may need to be reworked slightly, admittedly.
Wars Of The Worlds
Okay, admittedly, this one had me a little stumped until I realized: What if Earth got caught in a war between the original martians and a brand new set of aliens, both of whom want to enslave the human race if Tom Cruise can’t save his children and infect both sides with a new everyday disease? Oh, alright, this may be one that can’t really be pluralized, but wait! I’ve got this great idea for a movie called The Birdses…!