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Buffy Summers Vs. Black Widow? Joss Whedon Knows Who’d Win

Admit it: When you saw the first clip last week from director Joss Whedon’s The Avengers, featuring Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow mopping up the floor with her captors, you thought of a certain Vampire Slayer. And if you’re nerdy enough, you may have even wondered who would win in a fight between Buffy Summers and Natasha Romanoff.

Luckily for all of us, USA Today’s Whitney Matheson is that nerdy, so she posed the question to Whedon. While he’s spent the past year or so with Black Widow and the rest of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, it’s clear from his response that Whedon’s heart lies in Sunnydale.

“Buffy would go easy at first, but as soon as Natasha popped her with a Widow Sting, she’d start bringing some slayer brawn to the fray,” he told Matheson. “Natasha’s fast, but a couple of good connects and she’s wobbling, possibly something broken — she whips out her glock and now Buffy’s dodging — right where Natasha wants her. Natasha shoots the cable holding the steel barrels and they tumble onto Buffy, nearly burying her — Buffy just arcs out of the way, grabbing the splintered cable and swinging directly onto Natasha, a bullet grazing her cheek as her feet land hard on the Russian’s shoulders, sending her back flat — crack! — on the floor, Buffy wrenching the gun away and tossing it, fist ready for the final strike. Natasha, struggling to stay conscious, says the fight’s over. Buffy agrees, but Natasha explains: She poisoned Buffy hours ago. That waitress that brought her salad …? Natasha smiles. The poison is dormant — ’til it’s activated by adrenaline. Buffy’s eyes narrow. ‘Too bad I didn’t use any.’ Wham! Natasha’s out for the count, and Buffy’s heading — slowly — to Willow for a mystical cleanse.

“That’d be my first guess.”

Opening May 4, Marvel’s The Avengers also stars Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, Chris Evans as Captain America, Mark Ruffalo as the Incredible Hulk, Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, Tom Hiddleston as Loki, Clark Gregg as S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Phil Coulson, Cobie Smulders as S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Maria Hill and Stellan Skarsgård as Dr. Selvig.

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Comments

  • Mythos

    That’s fine. I’m sure Buffy vs. Hulk would be much shorter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nicolas-Caballero-Muhlbach/1663562671 Nicolás Caballero Mühlbach

    These fights always end in draw! lol Now I want to see this in comic form… Dark Horse and Marvel, did you hear me? Huh

  • Anonymous

    Bwah haha HA!

    …Sorry just imagining Scarlett Johansson slowly struggling through the dialog explaining the whole poison salad activated by adrenaline nonsense.

    And even more humorous would be her attempting it with somewhat of an Russian accent.

  • Statham

    You mean because even though, you know, Johansson can actually act, any fucker would struggle through Whedon’s AWFUL Buffyspeak?

  • Brandon

    How shocking the Whedon picked the character he created to win. I bet if you asked him Buffy could defeat all the Avengers at once, without even trying. What really happens is that the Black Widow reminds Buffy what a knock-off, terrible character she is, and Buffy cries herself to sleep.

  • Anonymous

    Feats put Buffy ahead by a good margin

  • Anonymous

    Well yeah Buffy. Buffy’s superhuman. Healing factor, increased strength and speed. Natasha/Black Widow is a normal human being who’s aging has been slowed down. No superhuman abilities or augmentation besides the decreased aging.

    So yeah. It’s logical Buffy would win.

    Though honestly Natasha would have studied Buffy and probably brought some extra equipment or modified her widow’s sting to compensate for Buffy’s greater stregth and metabolism.

  • Anonymous

    Actually I was thinking more about the laughable combination of Whedon horrible Buffyspeak dialog and Scarlett Johansson’s clear inability to give the appearance of acting without seriously slowing down the pacing and a generous helping of a fantastically skilled film editing team.

    You really think she’s a good actor that has clearly shown the ability to act to where it would be patently obvious that she can actually do so?

    That’s pretty sad.

    I’m not saying that the entire length and breadth of her career that she hasn’t occasionally shown some ability to somewhat act.  I’m just saying that you’d be hard pressed to find a solid 45 minutes of solid evidence of her doing a good (or especially a great) job acting.

    Or more accurately I am saying if I was to take my left testicle and dress it up, put a fake wig  and some fake mini boobs on it, and have Frank Oz (Guy who does the voice for Miss Piggy) pre-record dialog to go with it…people would be hard pressed in a side by side comparison between Johansson and my ball, to differentiate which was in reality the better actress.

  • Squiremick

    You must be used to putting that Miss Piggy ball of yours in men’s mouths if you really think nobody could tell the difference. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  • Squiremick

    Buffyspeak is awesome.

    Scarlett Johansson and Sarah Michelle Gellar are both gorgeous, who cares if they either can act.

    Buffy would beat Black Widow because she actually has superpowers.

    This is not rocket science people.

  • Xsikal

    As you mentioned, Buffy has all the supernatural gifts, but Black Widow has a lot of experience at being a normal (non-cape) who still has to fight supers, so you have to imagine she would figure something out.

    Plus Buffy was not necessarily the sharpest of people, so it’s hard to imagine her having much of a plan.

  • paulski

    Likewise, I think people would struggle to tell the difference between you and a horse’s ass.

    Unlike the difference between “I don’t think she’s a very good actor” and “I’m going to try to be as vicious and insulting towards another person as I possibly can”.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_I2A6SAWPVOBEZV54MLUEBI5NOE Charlie B

    Why you mad ? Buffy would win . I’m a big Marvel fan , and I can see that . And knock-off character? Many people, including me would disagree with that my friend .

  • Neowearswhite

     “You really think she’s a good actor that has clearly shown the ability
    to act to where it would be patently obvious that she can actually do
    so?”

    Um.. Huh?

  • http://twitter.com/jarracine Robert A Racine Jr

    Buffy has and always be my hero

  • Rm860

    I’m sorry to say Buffy cant actually dodge a gun in that close of quaters, she can die and black widdow wont just grase buffy with one bullet. If it was a fist fight Buffy wins

  • Mastermold

    Please bitch. Widow would own her.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Aycock/1290127005 Joe Aycock

    To say that Joss is just a LITTLE BIT prejudiced wouldn’t be in any way an exaggeration, but to say that he missed the target here by a mile would be dead on. Toss in Faith and Angel as back up, and Natasha might work up a sweat, but she would still be toe only one standing at the end.

  • Haliwelhunter

    Not surprising the he would pick Buffy. Wdow has delt with supers before and Buffy would be no different. Widow would do her research, understand that a physical confrontation would most likely be fatal to her and then put a cap in Buffy Summer’s head or heart from a distance. Buffy would never even know it happened. Let’s be honest here, Buffy may have the super human stuff, but experience wins out everytime. Widow for the win!

  • http://profiles.google.com/eranju Erling Rangnes

    I’d like to see that.

    Mostly because it would leave you one ball short. I don’t think there’s a person alive that thinks Johansson could possibly lose in that comparison, even with Frank Oz on your team.

    As for the 45 minutes of solid evidence, I present Lost In Translation to the jury. Thank you for your time.

  • ThorOdinson

    Now that’s just downright silly. Buffy’s superhuman while Natasha isn’t. She puts Captain America to shame in regards to powers, and Steve would soundly thrash Natasha, too.